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May. 9th, 2011 01:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
my_window_seatI read about people all the time in books, but in real life, they confuse me. When I run up against something that goes counter to my expectations, I don't really know what to do.
I'm trying this new thing called "perspective". It's funny, and feels pretty unfamiliar, but whatever - try something new every day, yeah?
Also, I am very tired, and will likely make no sense here.
You Have Been Warned.
There are so many overlapping circles when you are a part, even if only on the periphery, of an extended group of friends. The Venn diagram of friendships is not a static thing. It shifts, and sections that cross each other separate; sometimes recombining, sometimes not. Sometimes there are sides that never touch directly, but affect each other because of someone who knows someone else, who knows another person who knows you. And vice versa. Thusly. Circle of life, bitches And so.
I've spent the majority of my life on the other side of the fence from these things, so to be on the inside edge, without it having already ended in Spectacular Failure, is a little like getting used to being on the inside of a kaliedoscope. Knowing that it looks different from the outside than it does to the pieces that make it up, reflecting off each other and creating new patterns with every turn.
Things I'm seeing, which are obvious to everyone else, but at the moment feel like a newsflash to me:
People can like and dislike each other at the same time. They can justifiably bitch about each other, and still help each other out in times of need.
You can be friends with people who dislike each other.
You can be friends with someone who has friends who dislike you, and if you're not a pussy, you can let that not matter to you. If you are a pussy, you're not going to have very many friends.
When you've made the investment in a friend, extended your trust and your caring to them, and they royally fuck up, you have the option to forgive them and let it ride. If they continue being a douche, you have the option not to.
Friends can help you find your blind spots. Sometimes they will point them out to you. Sometimes they'll tell you as much of the truth as they think you can stand, and sometimes a little more whether you can handle it or not, because one day, you just might get it.
Friends sometimes have to let you make mistakes on your own, because you can't stop every train wreck. Sometimes they let you fall down, because if you climb that tree enough times even after you've been told repeatedly not to, gravity is the only thing that will teach you, and they know it.
Friends are the ones who are proud of you when you get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.
Sometimes you'll succeed and not even know it. As with mistakes, sometimes your friends will be the ones who have to point your achievements out to you.
There are a lot of different styles of friendships. Some friends will have little tolerance for your bullshit. Some will listen and and respond to the truth you're hiding from. Some will laugh at you when you're taking yourself too seriously. And a lot of other things. All of these have value.
Friendships don't survive in a vacuum, and most people aren't mind-readers. If you value someone, you should ping them every now and then and let them know.
Your friends aren't perfect. And that's good, because perfect people are boring. Like, Totally.
If you don't want to have any friends because people suck, and they'll always disappoint you, and you'll always disappoint them, so what's the use in trying when it's so much easier just to be on your own -
Suck it up.
Too fucking bad.
Because whether you like it or not, there's a good chance that someone likes you, even though you don't like yourself.
Friends are assholes like that.
Good christ it's late.
Thus endeth the - yeah. Whatever.
::: static :::
I'm trying this new thing called "perspective". It's funny, and feels pretty unfamiliar, but whatever - try something new every day, yeah?
Also, I am very tired, and will likely make no sense here.
You Have Been Warned.
There are so many overlapping circles when you are a part, even if only on the periphery, of an extended group of friends. The Venn diagram of friendships is not a static thing. It shifts, and sections that cross each other separate; sometimes recombining, sometimes not. Sometimes there are sides that never touch directly, but affect each other because of someone who knows someone else, who knows another person who knows you. And vice versa. Thusly. Circle of life, bitches And so.
I've spent the majority of my life on the other side of the fence from these things, so to be on the inside edge, without it having already ended in Spectacular Failure, is a little like getting used to being on the inside of a kaliedoscope. Knowing that it looks different from the outside than it does to the pieces that make it up, reflecting off each other and creating new patterns with every turn.
Things I'm seeing, which are obvious to everyone else, but at the moment feel like a newsflash to me:
People can like and dislike each other at the same time. They can justifiably bitch about each other, and still help each other out in times of need.
You can be friends with people who dislike each other.
You can be friends with someone who has friends who dislike you, and if you're not a pussy, you can let that not matter to you. If you are a pussy, you're not going to have very many friends.
When you've made the investment in a friend, extended your trust and your caring to them, and they royally fuck up, you have the option to forgive them and let it ride. If they continue being a douche, you have the option not to.
Friends can help you find your blind spots. Sometimes they will point them out to you. Sometimes they'll tell you as much of the truth as they think you can stand, and sometimes a little more whether you can handle it or not, because one day, you just might get it.
Friends sometimes have to let you make mistakes on your own, because you can't stop every train wreck. Sometimes they let you fall down, because if you climb that tree enough times even after you've been told repeatedly not to, gravity is the only thing that will teach you, and they know it.
Friends are the ones who are proud of you when you get back up, dust yourself off, and try again.
Sometimes you'll succeed and not even know it. As with mistakes, sometimes your friends will be the ones who have to point your achievements out to you.
There are a lot of different styles of friendships. Some friends will have little tolerance for your bullshit. Some will listen and and respond to the truth you're hiding from. Some will laugh at you when you're taking yourself too seriously. And a lot of other things. All of these have value.
Friendships don't survive in a vacuum, and most people aren't mind-readers. If you value someone, you should ping them every now and then and let them know.
Your friends aren't perfect. And that's good, because perfect people are boring. Like, Totally.
If you don't want to have any friends because people suck, and they'll always disappoint you, and you'll always disappoint them, so what's the use in trying when it's so much easier just to be on your own -
Suck it up.
Too fucking bad.
Because whether you like it or not, there's a good chance that someone likes you, even though you don't like yourself.
Friends are assholes like that.
Good christ it's late.
Thus endeth the - yeah. Whatever.
::: static :::
