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my_window_seatSo - the short version -
Yes, I am moving to Dallas.
Yes, it is happening VERY SOON - as in, within the next few weeks.
Yes, the short time frame - that keeps getting shorter - is both unexpected and not a little crazy-making.
Both in a positive and a not-negative-but-a-little-disconcerting way.
The Long Version -
During my vacation in Dallas with awesome folks who treated me so well it made my little head spin, I set up interviews that went really well. My awesome hosts offered me an awesome 30-day window to stay with them to get myself settled. Holy crap, how do I get so lucky to know the people that I do - seriously?
Job offers were made. I turned them down at the time because I had my summer up here booked solidly. It seemed that the practical and pragmatic approach would be to finish out my summer up here, try to save some $$ and use the time to make solid plans to move and establish myself in a concrete way.
The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men - Gang aft a-gley.
I gave up one of my summer positions here in town after an egregious communication gap (not my fault - yay?) was finally closed, and it became clear that it would have been 6 weeks of hell - for me, but not necessarily for someone else. I withdrew from the position, with no hard feelings on either side. I didn't get the finder's fee that the director said she wanted to send to me as a professional courtesy (she must have forgotten, and I didn't think it politic to 'remind' her), but it was nice that it was offered - bridge not burned and all that.
Though there were a couple other commitments here in the pipes, I thought, maybe this is an indication that I should rethink the moving timeline. Maybe move it up.
Started sending out feelers. Got some good responses.
One theatre company had already filled the original position they offered me, but had another artistic residency they liked me for and offered me a contract starting July 7th.
Another arts organization had some openings that would wrap around nicely with the above contract, and I made plans to go to their group interviews. I got sick, and couldn't make the 20-hour round-trip drive for the interview. The positions were filled, but I am still a contender for a better position in the fall. Not a solid offer, but a solid possibility. Still potential for future good things. Alles gut.
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sinaesthesia offered me a place for a month here in town so that we could pool resources and both save some $$. I planned to spend June with her, and make the move to Dallas thereafter.
I accepted the artistic residency, gave notice on my apartment, and continued plotting and planning.
Unfortunately, during this process I FAILED at communicating with my awesome Dallas hosts about these tentative plans. I assumed (headdesk headdesk headdesk) that the awesome 30-day window to stay with them was an "any time in the near future" window. The window closed, because the folks have a *really* busy summer schedule and the spare room is booked for the summer - something they would have told me HAD I ASKED, which I HADN'T.
When I got contact with the awesome hosts, I got the news that the window was unfortunately closed.
I had a personal issue completely unrelated to any of the above that shorted my circuits.
HEAD + WALL = FUCK
I blew a fuse.
I scrambled and then - went inert.
I started the new anti-depressant.
I've taken anti-depressants in the past. I know that they have side effects. The side effects I'd had with my other prescription (Zoloft) were a nuisance, but negligible.
This prescription (Paroxetine - generic Paxil) hit me like food poisoning. I was nauseated to the point of wanting to throw up for three days. Headaches. Lassitude to the point where I couldn't face getting out of bed. Needless to say, this did not in any way help my depression. Oh, no.
Called the clinic. They told me I could stop taking them and that they'd set up a new appointment for Monday. THANK YOU. Commenced hydrating to purgeTHE POISON medication from my system.
In the few hours during the week that I was functional, I continued to try to piece together something - ANYTHING - that could make the plans that were already in motion actually come to fruition.
I kept rolling snake eyes.
It was a Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Week.
And then -
And then -
Wait for it....
The awesome hosts, being AMAZING people, went stratospherically above and beyond the call of duty and put me in contact with other friends of theirs that have extended the beyond generous offer to let me stay with them.
These new hosts - their communication with me has been so kind that it's blown my mind not a little, and has helped re-fuse not only some of my blasted plans, but my faith in humanity as a whole. No small feat, as the "personal issue" had really rocked my trust issues to their core, and the realization that I'd been a frakkin' moron about communicating with others had taken my self-esteem to new depths.
Another item in the plus column - another friend in Dallas who currently lives with other people has decided that he wants to move to another location in town. He was my next-door-neighbor here in Albuquerque, and is someone that I not only trust, but would feel unreservedly comfortable sharing space with. He plans to get work over the summer (he's a student), save money, and be ready to move by August. Our projected timelines are concurrent which rocks, and we not only get along very well, but also have much in common as far as personal needs for our respective living spaces. This is not a definite, but if it works out, it would be a very positive thing for us both.
Currently, the exact hows and whens for - well, everytihng - are still a little nebulous.
I am still moving out of my apartment at the end of this month.
I was still going to move in with![[info]](https://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
sinaesthesia , but because each phone call to the theatre company resulted in *their* changing plans on me - 3 times just this week! - the timeline kept shifting, and it's been really, REALLY hard to make any concrete decisions. The good part is that 2 of these changes have resulted in extending my contract and giving me more hours per week for the contract's duration - the bad side is that each time I've thought I had a firm idea of the right plan of action, I've had to start over and rethink things YET AGAIN.
The final frakkin' wrench in the monkey works -
Money
Money
MONEY
I sat down yesterday with a legal pad and a calculator. I figured out as near as possible what my expenses for the next three months would be, and what my projected income from $$ still coming to me here in town would be, and figured in what my take for the artistic residency will be. I included the projected expenses for moving (gas money, rental or purchase of trailer for moving things, mailbox, storage, etc).
The numbers, they are not good.
THE NUMBERS ARE BAD, MAN.
I am an artist and an educator, so I am not just used to being poor, I accept it as a way of life.
So.
However - Trying to accomplish things and create a future that requires money that I don't have is something that threatens to short-circuit me if I think about it too hard.
And right now, I do not have the luxury of shutting down and not thinking.
This
Is
Not
An
Option
My best friend has offered to make me a loan. I talked with her on Saturday, but she needed to talk to her husband and figure out what their situation is right now before getting back to me. I thought we would talk today, but I didn't hear from her. I sent an e-mail and will have to wait to see where that is. They have a new baby, and my best friend nearly died giving birth, so I am NOT going to add to their already full plate. I just have to wait and see. And hope that she's doing okay and try not to worry - and worry - and worry - about her and the new baby...
Where things are at right now - I *think* the wisest course of action will be to try to move as soon as possible.
Possibly the first week of June.
As in, get to Dallas by the 3rd at the very latest.
This would get me there in time for a teacher's planning meeting and open house (June 4th & 5th) and for my contracted session (June 22nd), which would then theoretically put me on better professional footing with the theatre company itself. There is a possibility - only very tentative, but there - that I might *also* be offered *another* opening for an earlier session (June 15th) - another of the curveballs they threw me this week - a positive possibility, but another variable in the mix to consider. The artistic director has already stated that she has me in mind for other off-site opportuties should they develop, so - it seems that getting to Dallas ASAP has distinctly advantageous possibilities.
This would also give me the opportunity to get registered with temp agencies and begin beating the bushes NOW for employment to flesh out the 8 hrs. a week I have committed to them. In theory, the sooner I do this, the better my chances are to smooth out any complications.
And given that employment here in town sucks anyway, and I can't imagine finding 3-5 weeks of work here beyond t-shirt income that is only hit-or-miss at best, again, moving as soon as possible really seems like the most practical idea.
Decisions must be made in the next 48 hours.
I can NOT put further strain on other people's lives, schedules and sanity by being indecisive -
But damnit, there's still information I need that I don't have yet, and this is very frustrating.
And damnit, I need to find a way to put together more money than I have right now, and I don't know how to do this yet, and this is also very frustrating.
Now, I need to go to sleep.
There are t-shirts to finish and deliver in the morning.
There are furniture items to show and possibly sell tomorrow, and that would be A Very Good Thing.
Doctor's appointment.
Phone calls to make.
And The Beat Goes On....
Yes, I am moving to Dallas.
Yes, it is happening VERY SOON - as in, within the next few weeks.
Yes, the short time frame - that keeps getting shorter - is both unexpected and not a little crazy-making.
Both in a positive and a not-negative-but-a-little-disconcerting way.
The Long Version -
During my vacation in Dallas with awesome folks who treated me so well it made my little head spin, I set up interviews that went really well. My awesome hosts offered me an awesome 30-day window to stay with them to get myself settled. Holy crap, how do I get so lucky to know the people that I do - seriously?
Job offers were made. I turned them down at the time because I had my summer up here booked solidly. It seemed that the practical and pragmatic approach would be to finish out my summer up here, try to save some $$ and use the time to make solid plans to move and establish myself in a concrete way.
The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men - Gang aft a-gley.
I gave up one of my summer positions here in town after an egregious communication gap (not my fault - yay?) was finally closed, and it became clear that it would have been 6 weeks of hell - for me, but not necessarily for someone else. I withdrew from the position, with no hard feelings on either side. I didn't get the finder's fee that the director said she wanted to send to me as a professional courtesy (she must have forgotten, and I didn't think it politic to 'remind' her), but it was nice that it was offered - bridge not burned and all that.
Though there were a couple other commitments here in the pipes, I thought, maybe this is an indication that I should rethink the moving timeline. Maybe move it up.
Started sending out feelers. Got some good responses.
One theatre company had already filled the original position they offered me, but had another artistic residency they liked me for and offered me a contract starting July 7th.
Another arts organization had some openings that would wrap around nicely with the above contract, and I made plans to go to their group interviews. I got sick, and couldn't make the 20-hour round-trip drive for the interview. The positions were filled, but I am still a contender for a better position in the fall. Not a solid offer, but a solid possibility. Still potential for future good things. Alles gut.
sinaesthesia offered me a place for a month here in town so that we could pool resources and both save some $$. I planned to spend June with her, and make the move to Dallas thereafter.I accepted the artistic residency, gave notice on my apartment, and continued plotting and planning.
Unfortunately, during this process I FAILED at communicating with my awesome Dallas hosts about these tentative plans. I assumed (headdesk headdesk headdesk) that the awesome 30-day window to stay with them was an "any time in the near future" window. The window closed, because the folks have a *really* busy summer schedule and the spare room is booked for the summer - something they would have told me HAD I ASKED, which I HADN'T.
When I got contact with the awesome hosts, I got the news that the window was unfortunately closed.
I had a personal issue completely unrelated to any of the above that shorted my circuits.
HEAD + WALL = FUCK
I blew a fuse.
I scrambled and then - went inert.
I started the new anti-depressant.
I've taken anti-depressants in the past. I know that they have side effects. The side effects I'd had with my other prescription (Zoloft) were a nuisance, but negligible.
This prescription (Paroxetine - generic Paxil) hit me like food poisoning. I was nauseated to the point of wanting to throw up for three days. Headaches. Lassitude to the point where I couldn't face getting out of bed. Needless to say, this did not in any way help my depression. Oh, no.
Called the clinic. They told me I could stop taking them and that they'd set up a new appointment for Monday. THANK YOU. Commenced hydrating to purge
In the few hours during the week that I was functional, I continued to try to piece together something - ANYTHING - that could make the plans that were already in motion actually come to fruition.
I kept rolling snake eyes.
It was a Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Week.
And then -
And then -
Wait for it....
The awesome hosts, being AMAZING people, went stratospherically above and beyond the call of duty and put me in contact with other friends of theirs that have extended the beyond generous offer to let me stay with them.
These new hosts - their communication with me has been so kind that it's blown my mind not a little, and has helped re-fuse not only some of my blasted plans, but my faith in humanity as a whole. No small feat, as the "personal issue" had really rocked my trust issues to their core, and the realization that I'd been a frakkin' moron about communicating with others had taken my self-esteem to new depths.
Another item in the plus column - another friend in Dallas who currently lives with other people has decided that he wants to move to another location in town. He was my next-door-neighbor here in Albuquerque, and is someone that I not only trust, but would feel unreservedly comfortable sharing space with. He plans to get work over the summer (he's a student), save money, and be ready to move by August. Our projected timelines are concurrent which rocks, and we not only get along very well, but also have much in common as far as personal needs for our respective living spaces. This is not a definite, but if it works out, it would be a very positive thing for us both.
Currently, the exact hows and whens for - well, everytihng - are still a little nebulous.
I am still moving out of my apartment at the end of this month.
I was still going to move in with
sinaesthesia , but because each phone call to the theatre company resulted in *their* changing plans on me - 3 times just this week! - the timeline kept shifting, and it's been really, REALLY hard to make any concrete decisions. The good part is that 2 of these changes have resulted in extending my contract and giving me more hours per week for the contract's duration - the bad side is that each time I've thought I had a firm idea of the right plan of action, I've had to start over and rethink things YET AGAIN.The final frakkin' wrench in the monkey works -
Money
Money
MONEY
I sat down yesterday with a legal pad and a calculator. I figured out as near as possible what my expenses for the next three months would be, and what my projected income from $$ still coming to me here in town would be, and figured in what my take for the artistic residency will be. I included the projected expenses for moving (gas money, rental or purchase of trailer for moving things, mailbox, storage, etc).
The numbers, they are not good.
THE NUMBERS ARE BAD, MAN.
I am an artist and an educator, so I am not just used to being poor, I accept it as a way of life.
So.
However - Trying to accomplish things and create a future that requires money that I don't have is something that threatens to short-circuit me if I think about it too hard.
And right now, I do not have the luxury of shutting down and not thinking.
This
Is
Not
An
Option
My best friend has offered to make me a loan. I talked with her on Saturday, but she needed to talk to her husband and figure out what their situation is right now before getting back to me. I thought we would talk today, but I didn't hear from her. I sent an e-mail and will have to wait to see where that is. They have a new baby, and my best friend nearly died giving birth, so I am NOT going to add to their already full plate. I just have to wait and see. And hope that she's doing okay and try not to worry - and worry - and worry - about her and the new baby...
Where things are at right now - I *think* the wisest course of action will be to try to move as soon as possible.
Possibly the first week of June.
As in, get to Dallas by the 3rd at the very latest.
This would get me there in time for a teacher's planning meeting and open house (June 4th & 5th) and for my contracted session (June 22nd), which would then theoretically put me on better professional footing with the theatre company itself. There is a possibility - only very tentative, but there - that I might *also* be offered *another* opening for an earlier session (June 15th) - another of the curveballs they threw me this week - a positive possibility, but another variable in the mix to consider. The artistic director has already stated that she has me in mind for other off-site opportuties should they develop, so - it seems that getting to Dallas ASAP has distinctly advantageous possibilities.
This would also give me the opportunity to get registered with temp agencies and begin beating the bushes NOW for employment to flesh out the 8 hrs. a week I have committed to them. In theory, the sooner I do this, the better my chances are to smooth out any complications.
And given that employment here in town sucks anyway, and I can't imagine finding 3-5 weeks of work here beyond t-shirt income that is only hit-or-miss at best, again, moving as soon as possible really seems like the most practical idea.
Decisions must be made in the next 48 hours.
I can NOT put further strain on other people's lives, schedules and sanity by being indecisive -
But damnit, there's still information I need that I don't have yet, and this is very frustrating.
And damnit, I need to find a way to put together more money than I have right now, and I don't know how to do this yet, and this is also very frustrating.
Now, I need to go to sleep.
There are t-shirts to finish and deliver in the morning.
There are furniture items to show and possibly sell tomorrow, and that would be A Very Good Thing.
Doctor's appointment.
Phone calls to make.
And The Beat Goes On....
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no subject
Date: 2009-05-19 02:02 am (UTC)Well, poop.
That means these mixtapes that have been sitting in a padded envelope on my desk for the past few weeks will need to be rerouted.
Snail mail when you can, that way you can have something to rock out to as you open cardboard boxes.
=]'
no subject
Date: 2009-05-19 02:11 am (UTC)HOWEVER - if you actually want to mail it to me in the next couple of days FOR SURE - it could get to me here, and I could make them a part of my driving adventure on the way down there. Which would actually be kinda awesome...
So - if you're going to be going to the post office tomorrow or the day after, and if I haven't already given you my address yet, let me know - and I will make you a part of the Great Migration, in spirit. :-)