Oh, for the love of WTF...?!

[my_window_seat]

I have to say, this was one of the weirder New Year's I've had so far.
Ann Imma little bit tipzy, scho mah typing...

Yeah, no.  Tipsy or no, I'm a grammar/spelling nazi, so anyway -

So this neighbor from across the street - newer guy in one of the properties that I am now solidly convinced is possessed and really, seriously, has the power to drive people crazy...!

(Seriously.  I haven't met anyone living in one of those places yet that wasn't completely fucking clinical.  Tasers?  Hostage situation? S.W.A.T. Team? Helloooo?)

So last night, neighbor from across the street comes to my door, at 10:30 at night - and asks if I want this bag of cat food that he can't use - um, for a cat that he doesn't have any more.  That I subsequently get a long story about, along with several other long stories about his apparently very lonely life - because I proceed to stand there and listen to him talk for another half an hour.

Yeah.  I'm listening to some stranger that I've never met talk about his life, standing in a doorway in the freezing fucking cold -

Because I guess I feel sorry for the guy. 

Given my state of mind, particularly of late - I have some sympathy for someone who apparently feels cut off from the world, but wants to try to make some kind of friendly, albeit strange, gesture.

::headdesk::

So what happens tonight, New Year's Eve?

Dude shows up on my doorstop again.

Because, you know, if you're inadvertently kind to a stray - it tends to come back.

Oh for fuck's sake.

Tonight, he doesn't show up with cat food.  No, this time he shows up sans cat food - basically just to tell me that he's - lonely.

Yeah.

He's telling me this.
The self-described couldn't-give-a-fuck, numb-to-human-interaction person.

How - perfect.

And just in the middle of a perfectly pleasant and diverting online discussion with jackandhishat  no less.  Yes, please interrupt me as I'm having one of the few positive interactions I've had with another human being in a great long while, to tell me your tale of woe.  Because I'm exactly the kind of person that just oozes fellowship and good cheer for strangers.

The fuck...?!?

And so what do I do?

Seeing as I'm planning to go spend the evening with elegantdreams  and mommy - essentially the home where strays are historically gathered - and given that I've just spent the better part of the day, to say nothing of the last few months, stewing in a brew of self-and other-imposed solitude and social leperdom -

I have this crazy idea that, wait, maybe -
Maybe this is some kind of sign.

Like, maybe I'm supposed to show kindness to this person, as a kind of gesture to the universe that yes, I really do mean it when I say that despite feeling emotionally anesthetized and socially truncated - really I do want to at least try to be a part of the human race - and I really do want to try to make others feel good, even if I can't -

Yes.
You may totally point and laugh.

Seriously.
Please do.

Because I then proceed to invite this total stranger to come spend New Year's Eve with Nikki and Co., as a gesture of good faith to the universe.  As a down payment to readmission to the human race.

Or something.
Frack, I don't know.

(Anyway, I call Nikki and mommy to make sure before I actually take him over there. I'm stupid, but I'm not rude.  Really.)

So he accepts the invitation and it seems to really mean a lot to him - I say come back in a couple hours and I'll give you a ride, yadda yadda, and I go back to my conversation with jackandhishat  and a drive-by hello to pvck -

And the long and short of it is, I take this guy over to Nikki's and he proceeds to spend the bulk of the time staring at me, as though it's not enough that I've given him an opportunity to hang out with people for New Year's but I'm apparently also supposed to - what, I don't know - hold his friggin' hand or something?  I made him fucking hot chocolate and introduced him to people, what the hell else do you want from me, seriously?

Apparently something else, because at about 10:45 or so he comes up and says that he needs to go home.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Okay, so I'm actually pretty tired, so although this is pretty bizarre behaviour, whatever, okay, so I'll take him back home.  Meaning, his home.  Oh please.

So I tell Nikki I have to go, and she's not terribly pleased and is a smidge concerned because, seriously, the hell...?  And she and mommy make a considerable and VERY PUBLICALLY VOCAL point of telling me that I must call them AS SOON AS I GET HOME - in other other words, people are expecting me to check in, so yeah, killing me and dumping my body would be a VERY BAD IDEA  -

And driving him home, strange neighbor starts talking slightly subdued but still crazy talk, about how he's sorry but he just doesn't know how to be around people anymore and yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah, and I'm driving along thinking, ya know, this really could be the evening I get Mr. Goodbarred and my stab-wounded body is found in an abandoned car by the side of the road, and wouldn't that be a fine how-de-ya-do for trying to do a fucking good deed, thankyewverramuch -

!!!

Obviously, there was no stabbing.

But I also didn't offer to hear anymore sad stories, and dropped him off with a "hope you feel better" and scooted over to my other, non-crazy, neighbor's (Robert) next door.  Where we hung out, listened to music files, and generally BS'ed through the midnight hour and a bit beyond.

I was about a stone's throw from dragging Robert out of the house over to jarmon 's party, but we would have been showing up there at almost exactly midnight, and even though I had managed to get Robert off the couch, I decided that the timing was too weird - because really, showing up just at midnight would feel too weird.  And I'm honestly not in the mood for en masse hilarity and PDA's, so it was just - better all around, to spend time with a buddy that I haven't spent really decent time with for an awfully long while, swapping music, drinking a couple (read: exactly one IPA and one imported Stout, because that's what I had in the fridge) beers (of which I drank one and three quarters myself - snooze and you lose, Rob), chilling and just - yeah.

But seriously.

The fuck...?!?!

Is it any wonder that I hardly leave my friggin' house anymore?

As Robert says, "Man, you are a magnet for the crazy."

Seriously?





Will someone please just marry me already, so I can at least have my crazy at predictable intervals and on tap, in the comfort of my own home?








The hell, man?

Happy Weird Year, every bunnies.

Comments

[ed-dirt.livejournal.com]

I too have a Nut Magnet embedded somewhere in my body. Nuts see me from a distance and actually RUN to speak to me.

I have a friend who has a Nut Magnet, and i was in a crowd of 20 people with her, and a nut pushed past everyone else, including her, to come shake my hand.

Oh, and this is more important...

I got your Xmas card. It arrived before Xmas. What a treat!

Thank you very much.

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

Nuts see me from a distance and actually RUN to speak to me.

Is it wrong that the first thing I thought was, "and now that you're in a wheelchair, you're either a captive audience or an AWESOME battering ram!"

* flees *

[ed-dirt.livejournal.com]

It used to happen to me just as much before i was crippled. i think it's because they know i think of them as human beings instead of shit.

like they have their "I think you're not a piece of shit" radar going and then my Nut magnet added to that and i am irresistible.

fucking irresistible, I tell ya.

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

I've been told it's because I have "a kind face."

...

Tribal tattoos and piercings may be the next step. Argh.

[waystar.livejournal.com]

Wow. So glad that the Mr. Loony Toon didn't get violent on you. That's some scary crap right there.

Now you *have* to keep posting regularly, or we'll all think that you've been abducted or something. (I meant that to be funny, but now that I think about it, it sounds like a good idea.)

Is it even possible for crazy to be at predictable intervals? I'll need to think about that.

Happy New Year

*smooch*

[hatebot.livejournal.com]

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[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

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[elegantdreams.livejournal.com]

he stared at everyone, the way you stare at water in the summer, or the way the puppies stare at my dinner while i am eating it, i have never seen such a bizarre look of...longing...without having a clue what the person wanted...Kim asked if he was trying to flirt, but justin noted that he stared at him in the same way, so i think it was more of a 'i want the friendships that i see taking place' but let me tell you something, as you know, they are a lot of freaking work, and that fella is not up to having friends outside of a psychiatrist office, at least not anytime in the near future.
and yes, it was meant to be very noticeable, i am generally not a fan of checking in myslef, but in that case...yeah, ick. and you know that i have a high tolerance for oddity, but not so much for neediness, and that boy was like an open wound looking for a bandage.

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

In a strange way, it's kind of a relief - at least it wasn't me, it was *him*.

I suppose I should feel a little guilty, but it's as you say - there's a wound that requires professional help to heal. And I get the feeling he isn't at a point to even want to do the work on his part to make that happen. And that, when all's said and done, is why I choose to keep my distance.

And I'm telling you - I wish you wrote more often, because you always have such amazing insight, and such a graceful way of saying things. You is a poet, but you don'ts knows it.

And bleeding christ - speaking of poetry - you'll never guess what I found this week..... It's small, it's rectangular, it has a red cover, and you loaned it to me AT LEAST 5 YEARS AGO.

::headdesk::

I suppose you'd like to have it back now....?

[elegantdreams.livejournal.com]

I am guessing that it is a book? my memory does not extend that far!

I am actually getting ready to post my new years wish for everyone, does that count as writing more?