(no subject)

[my_window_seat]

Care and Maintenance of your ~D~ Unit

Tip #1 -

When discussing anything of an emotional nature, use of the words should/shouldn't (and their variants) in connection with your ~D~ Unit should (snerk) be avoided, in particular during Certain Times of the Month.

Example of phrases not to use:

"It's not a big deal - you really shouldn't feel bad."
"It's not so bad - you should just let it go."
"You really shouldn't stress over this."
Etc.

These phrases will trip your ~D~ Unit's Sense of Responsibility Circuitry (a part of her motherboard that is generally running pretty heavily at all times), and can result in an overload at her Guilt Chip^TM. Such an overload will engage her Defensive Self-Recrimination subroutine, causing a chain reaction that can, if sufficiently severe, result in a Blue Screen of Depression that will lock the system up or cause it to overheat, whereupon all programs currently in use will shut down and/or default to Emergency Backup Panic Mode. Neither of these states is desirable as they will render your ~D~ Unit entirely unusable for an unforeseeable length of time, and may require that the unit be taken in for extensive maintenance.

The proper protocal for situations where the should/shouldn't variants may come into play would be the more preferable input of Validation and Self-Awareness formulas.

Example:

"That sounds challenging - how do you feel about that?"
"That sucks.  What are your options?"
"I'm sorry to hear that.  Need a hug?"

These alternative methods will allow your ~D~ Unit to soft reboot and reroute the bulk of her processing away from the already overworked Guilt Chip^TM and, optimally, activate her Recursive Analytical Memory (RAM).  Once the RAM is engaged, it will relieve the strain on the Responsibility Circuitry and your ~D~ Unit will have sufficient power to process standard stress algorithms in an efficient and logical manner without becoming overheated.

Well, usually anyway.  It's still your best shot.

Thank you for choosing your ~D~ Unit. 
Please contact Customer Service for answers to any other problems you may encounter.

Comments

[vividshimmer.livejournal.com]

Ha!
Clever.

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

And I can hear my ex whispering now, "Clever, clever, relevant never..."

::donkey punches whisperer::

There. I feel better. Don't you?

[elegantdreams.livejournal.com]

I am amused and disturbed all at once.
sorry I missed you today, Luann switched my schedule.
I still have your tupperware, not that that means I will remember to bring it back in a timely fashion, just that I do have it. And I have an awful urge now to ask you how that makes you feel, but there is that little part of my brain that says, gee, she will feel like kicking you, immediately overridden by the part of my brain that giggles thinking that if you try to kick me, your clogs will fly off.
*hug*

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

Awwwww. I thought maybe since I didn't see you last night, I'd see you tonight - but I was DENIED. DENIED I tell you! Is there no justice?

Love you!!!!

[ex-feralnerd135.livejournal.com]

Quite clever =)

I make this mistake all the time, but to be fair, men are socialized to use language slightly differently. It makes no sense (to men) why should/shouldn't or otherwise offering stepwise advice when a woman is upset should be so bad. We talk about our problems because we want help fixing them or validation that we're on the right track. We want to be told if we're not on the right track. We want to do the same for you, and at least in my book, the "gosh, that must be hard" and "aww do you need a hug" responses are typically indicative of a man that is not even listening. So when I get this speech, I want to get a cardboard prop and put my photo on it and leave it there for the next time my girlfriend starts talking about her problems.

[my-window-seat.livejournal.com]

I guess I got carried away with the goof factor and didn't properly express what I was getting at. Given what you've said, I think we're actually on the same wavelength - although you got pretty snarky with the cardboard cutout shot there. Note that the "That must be hard" part was followed up with "What are your options" - I'm not implying I want someone to pat me on the head and patronize me - it's just sometimes helpful to be reminded verbally that any problem has solutions.