(no subject)
Aug. 5th, 2004 02:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
my_window_seatWhatever you think about the countless stories of survivors of sexual abuse - think again.
Think hard.
Think about the people you know and love.
Think about how little you may or may not know about them
Think about what others do or don't know about you.
Don't dwell. Just take a moment to think.
We know who we are.
=========================================
By![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
misria:
After a dear friend of mine was raped a few weeks ago, I've been thinking a lot about sexual violence and how you're not supposed to talk about it.
This friend of mine who was raped recently isn't the only person I know who has endured being raped and lived through the aftermath, just the most recent. She isn't the only person I know who has had to try to figure out how to glue the broken bowl of her life back together after having it shattered by sexual violence, praying that it'll still hold water when she's done.
As I have altogether too many times in the past when other friends have become victims of rape or other sex crimes, I have wondered what I can possibly do to make it better. But I also know I can't take it back or prevent it or even really make it easier. The best thing I can do is come out and let her know that she's not alone, that there are others of us out here, that she can make it through, because I'm a rape survivor, and we do make it through.
I was thinking in the shower this morning about how many people I know -- women, men, transfolks, others -- have some sort of sexual violence somewhere in their pasts, wondering how many more people I know have some sort of sexual violence lurking in their future.
I wondered for a moment what it would look like if just for one day, everyone who had survived sexual violence were visible as a survivor, if we could actually see the extent of it, if we could all know just how very not-alone we are. I wondered how angry and sad it would make me to know. I wondered how much power there might be in the truth.
I'm not sure what to do with this, yet. But I do feel like outing myself, and encouraging other people to out themselves if they feel okay about doing so. This isn't about telling the story of what happened -- just for the record, I don't generally like to talk about it much and I get uncomfortable with other people's voyeuristic curiosity about what happened to me, although other people feel differently about telling their stories or being asked questions, and I think people should be free to place their own limits on how and with whom they want to talk about details.
This is about being public in regard to something that is normally kept a very big, very dark secret, thus ensuring that we can all pretend that This Sort Of Thing Doesn't Happen To People Like You And Me.
It does happen to people like you and me. Trust me, I know.
I'm Hanne. I'm a survivor of sexual violence.
No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
misria
==============================
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
==============================
To this I can only point and say - we are not alone.
No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
Think hard.
Think about the people you know and love.
Think about how little you may or may not know about them
Think about what others do or don't know about you.
Don't dwell. Just take a moment to think.
We know who we are.
=========================================
By
misria:After a dear friend of mine was raped a few weeks ago, I've been thinking a lot about sexual violence and how you're not supposed to talk about it.
This friend of mine who was raped recently isn't the only person I know who has endured being raped and lived through the aftermath, just the most recent. She isn't the only person I know who has had to try to figure out how to glue the broken bowl of her life back together after having it shattered by sexual violence, praying that it'll still hold water when she's done.
As I have altogether too many times in the past when other friends have become victims of rape or other sex crimes, I have wondered what I can possibly do to make it better. But I also know I can't take it back or prevent it or even really make it easier. The best thing I can do is come out and let her know that she's not alone, that there are others of us out here, that she can make it through, because I'm a rape survivor, and we do make it through.
I was thinking in the shower this morning about how many people I know -- women, men, transfolks, others -- have some sort of sexual violence somewhere in their pasts, wondering how many more people I know have some sort of sexual violence lurking in their future.
I wondered for a moment what it would look like if just for one day, everyone who had survived sexual violence were visible as a survivor, if we could actually see the extent of it, if we could all know just how very not-alone we are. I wondered how angry and sad it would make me to know. I wondered how much power there might be in the truth.
I'm not sure what to do with this, yet. But I do feel like outing myself, and encouraging other people to out themselves if they feel okay about doing so. This isn't about telling the story of what happened -- just for the record, I don't generally like to talk about it much and I get uncomfortable with other people's voyeuristic curiosity about what happened to me, although other people feel differently about telling their stories or being asked questions, and I think people should be free to place their own limits on how and with whom they want to talk about details.
This is about being public in regard to something that is normally kept a very big, very dark secret, thus ensuring that we can all pretend that This Sort Of Thing Doesn't Happen To People Like You And Me.
It does happen to people like you and me. Trust me, I know.
I'm Hanne. I'm a survivor of sexual violence.
No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
misria==============================
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
==============================
To this I can only point and say - we are not alone.
No Pity. No Shame. No Silence.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-08-08 02:42 am (UTC)I applaud the end of silence, as it is quite possibly the beginning of the end of needless shame and self-hatred.
Solidarity.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-08 03:55 am (UTC)Maybe that's why the ending of silence could be the most critical part of that idea. Less likely for someone else to end up having something similar happen to them. Awareness. Yaddayadda.
What's really crazy - is the number of men who make up their own statistic. I dunno. It's a pretty fucked up world, in spots. From time to time.
And yet, life goes on, neh?
Crazy...
no subject
Date: 2004-08-08 05:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-08 06:51 am (UTC)1. Disagreeable to the senses: an offensive odor.
2. Causing anger, displeasure, resentment, or affront: an offensive gesture.
Yes, as a statistic, it's offensive.
As a fact, it goes beyond offending the senses or causing anger.
It simply is what it is.
Every statistic is made up of people. Each person is made up of so many more things than the instances that lump them into statistics.
I don't know, are you trying to say that this says something in particular about you?
Maybe it does. You're really the only one who can say.
Someone once said to me, there's beauty even in the child starving in the gutter. Maybe you're one of those people that recognizes that kind of thing.
If you can see the connection, you're the person who sees the other person behind the statistic.
And if you can explain what I just said to me, you're a fucking genius.