my_window_seat | (no subject)

On the way home from Nikki's tonight, I realized how incredibly full my life is now.

And by that I don't mean the stuff I usually bitch about; the being overburdened by responsibility, yadda yadda.

I mean full as in - full of good things. Full of new possibilities, for sure.

But more than anything, my life is actually full of life now. Full in the sense of having the things that a good life is made of.

It's not true that 'you can't choose your family.' That is complete and utter horseshit.

I know, because I've chosen and been chosen by the people who are my family.

We don't share a single strand of the same DNA. But I know that whatever I do, good bad or indifferent, they love me. If I am there or not, they're thinking about me. If I need anything at all, day or night, I can come to them, and I will be cared for.

I hear that that's what families are supposed to be about. I finally believe that this is true.

I could say some really bitchtastic things about my biological family - but what would be the point? It no longer matters, all the things they said and didn't say, the things they did and didn't do.

I don't have to live my life scrambling feebly for some small scrap of approval from anyone who will take the time to notice me. I don't have to live in fear of being alone.

I have a family.

Goddamn. Hallelujah goddamn.

Man, that feels good.