(no subject)
Mar. 1st, 2007 07:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
my_window_seatWorn out. The fucking plague is apparently back for Round Two. I would dearly love to have a good 48 hour stretch to just get the rest I need to beat this thing back. Said break is nowhere on the horizon. Yeah, yeah, wah wah poor me. Shut up and give me a goddamn pony.
The preview for the touring show was today - and it was a train wreck. Like, cars slowing down on the freeway to gawk at it mess. You know what, though? NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM. Susan did show up to watch, and I asked her - should I cancel the first two shows to give them another week of rehearsal? Susan said it was up to the director (Kristen), Kristen is sure that it's going to be fine - hey, that's good enough for me. Once again - NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM.
Today was a weird day, overall. More peaks and valleys than - insert clever analogy here. I'm too tired. But it really was really sucky, followed by really neat, with a round back to argh and another chorus of WOW that was awfully nice -
All in all, it's left me a bit swimmy in the head. I feel like ca-ca physically, but overall - I have to say I'm really pretty a-ok.
The best part of today was a friend not only cutting me some slack when I acted like an idiot, but even being sweet as heck to me despite it to boot. The rehearsal tonight was also really cool - I really am loving the opportunity to not just watch Paul work, but to finally be a part of the artistic part of his company - so if I say that the cool friend thing trumped that, obviously I'm saying something there.
See, those of you who know me IRL are already familiar with the roller coaster ride that a friendship with me is. Every now and then I think, hey, I'm older now, I've learned from my mistakes - I'm growing from my experiences! Which is to a degree true, but -
Bottom line, I'm still me. One of my favorite people in the world - so favored because I know he will always tell me the unvarnished truth, but coming from him, it doesn't hurt quite so much as it might, because he just is so damned kind along with all that honesty - even that friend describes me as, direct quote, "the most difficult person I know to know." And knowing some of the other people in our freaktastic crowd that he knows - Nikki, you know what I'm sayin' - um, yeah. That's a mouthful. And yet, for all that - he is my friend. I know I could call on him at any time and he would be there for me. I know - because I have. Difficult as I am, he's there for me.
Difficult as I am, y'all don't scare easy, do you?
Every close and meaningful relationship I have in my life has undergone, at some point or another, a trial by fire. Sometimes more than one. Often more than that, even. Every person who really matters to me has taken crap that most people (read: sane people) wouldn't put up with - and for their own reasons, they've decided to stick it out anyway.
I don't really know exactly why they do, but I've learned not to look gift horses in the mouth. Or rather, it just makes me further appreciate the high-caliber people I'm fortunate enough to have in my life.
Heh-heh. I am the filter through which lesser beings do not pass. Any friend of mine is guaranteed to be flame-retardant, flexible, generous of spirit and just generally WICKED FUCKING COOL.
I really appreciate the people that are in my life. It's not something you can take to the bank, but I'll happily write any one of you a Recommendation of Greatness any day.
Hokay. Now that I've gone all soft and mushy on you, I think I'll go crawl off to the couch and be immobile.
::hack wheeze THUMP::
Addtional: I have enough mentholatum on my chest to decongest a small third world country. Does this make me sexy to koala bears?
...
That's going to give me nightmares now...
The preview for the touring show was today - and it was a train wreck. Like, cars slowing down on the freeway to gawk at it mess. You know what, though? NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM. Susan did show up to watch, and I asked her - should I cancel the first two shows to give them another week of rehearsal? Susan said it was up to the director (Kristen), Kristen is sure that it's going to be fine - hey, that's good enough for me. Once again - NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM.
Today was a weird day, overall. More peaks and valleys than - insert clever analogy here. I'm too tired. But it really was really sucky, followed by really neat, with a round back to argh and another chorus of WOW that was awfully nice -
All in all, it's left me a bit swimmy in the head. I feel like ca-ca physically, but overall - I have to say I'm really pretty a-ok.
The best part of today was a friend not only cutting me some slack when I acted like an idiot, but even being sweet as heck to me despite it to boot. The rehearsal tonight was also really cool - I really am loving the opportunity to not just watch Paul work, but to finally be a part of the artistic part of his company - so if I say that the cool friend thing trumped that, obviously I'm saying something there.
See, those of you who know me IRL are already familiar with the roller coaster ride that a friendship with me is. Every now and then I think, hey, I'm older now, I've learned from my mistakes - I'm growing from my experiences! Which is to a degree true, but -
Bottom line, I'm still me. One of my favorite people in the world - so favored because I know he will always tell me the unvarnished truth, but coming from him, it doesn't hurt quite so much as it might, because he just is so damned kind along with all that honesty - even that friend describes me as, direct quote, "the most difficult person I know to know." And knowing some of the other people in our freaktastic crowd that he knows - Nikki, you know what I'm sayin' - um, yeah. That's a mouthful. And yet, for all that - he is my friend. I know I could call on him at any time and he would be there for me. I know - because I have. Difficult as I am, he's there for me.
Difficult as I am, y'all don't scare easy, do you?
Every close and meaningful relationship I have in my life has undergone, at some point or another, a trial by fire. Sometimes more than one. Often more than that, even. Every person who really matters to me has taken crap that most people (read: sane people) wouldn't put up with - and for their own reasons, they've decided to stick it out anyway.
I don't really know exactly why they do, but I've learned not to look gift horses in the mouth. Or rather, it just makes me further appreciate the high-caliber people I'm fortunate enough to have in my life.
Heh-heh. I am the filter through which lesser beings do not pass. Any friend of mine is guaranteed to be flame-retardant, flexible, generous of spirit and just generally WICKED FUCKING COOL.
I really appreciate the people that are in my life. It's not something you can take to the bank, but I'll happily write any one of you a Recommendation of Greatness any day.
Hokay. Now that I've gone all soft and mushy on you, I think I'll go crawl off to the couch and be immobile.
::hack wheeze THUMP::
Addtional: I have enough mentholatum on my chest to decongest a small third world country. Does this make me sexy to koala bears?
...
That's going to give me nightmares now...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-03-02 07:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-03 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-04 06:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-03 10:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-03 02:08 pm (UTC)