So, it looks like my daughter isn't going to come live with me after all.
I don't know how many thoughts and feelings I have about this - every time I think about it, it's like my logical thought processes just sort of freeze up.
About the only thing that's clearly identifiable is a mixture of regret - and relief.
Regret, because in the short period of time that I've been corresponding with her, she sounds like a really kick-ass person. Smart. Resourceful. Non-judgemental. World-conscious. Responsible. Sarcastic. A real - individual
Relief, because more than anything, I can't stand the thought of being an even bigger disappointment in person than I must have been by proxy.
I don't know. It's still just so much to think about. I'm hoping that someday, anyway, we can meet. I'm hoping that, if and when that happens - I don't know what.
I just hope it happens.
Whatever happens, whenever I think about her, I feel like a pretty goddamn lucky person.
Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2004 22:50:01 -0800 (PST)
From: "Insert name here!" <-------.com>
To: "D. Miller" <-----@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Pony skwa
Yeah hazen was designed by a person who designs prisons!. It's funny, everyone says it does, but a realy sweet 'preforming center' was added in for plays, orchestra/band/choir concerts, and assemblys. Plus other renovations are on the way. (Im on the senate so i uh know all this stuff early heh.) We're FINALLY getting new windows, ones that have blinds on the inside and are insulated. Did you have the ones that open from the inside, well we still have them and theyre dangerous. Theyre doing all kinds of rennovations..Im a bit excited only because i'm in senate.
yeah im not allergic to cats, or anything besides leaf mold, dairy and maybe (hopefully not) wheat.
No offense but i really love washington esp seattle area ive grown up in it all my life and not that i dont love changes in scenery but i want to finish up high school/ college down here. Im not too sure but i just love seattle. I guess if i have no options but i talked to a case manager about it and i filled out an application for perm housing for teens and apparently it should be very nice. My only worry is food, since i pretty much eat whole foods, i miht have to buy my own food, and maybe meds. argh But i totally appreciate the offer.
Did you know that my dad is bipolar and has ADD *and* ADHD. I doubt that hed want to see you in jail, probably just gobs abd gobs of money for compensation of taking care of horrible little me for 14 years and back payments. He wants most of the world dead but i he never mentions jail.
anyway its late and i have school so Ill talk to you later, night.
Date: Sat, 13 Mar 2004 04:52:40 -0800 (PST)
From: "~D~" <------@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Pony skwa
Wow, what a week - haven't been at the computer all week; sorry again for the delay.
Well, I can understand not wanting to leave a place you like and have to uproot - I mean, I *guess* I can; I didn't really have that luxury growing up, and kind of got used to never being in one place for more than a few months or maybe a year, tops. What's weird is that the place I'm in now - this is the longest I've ever been in one place *in my entire life*. It actually creeps me out whenever I think about it. Hum. Old habits die hard, I guess. Anyway, I say, if you know you like where you are, and if you can find a way to stay - definitely do it. It's probably for the best.
And it really sounds like you have a lot of good things going for you - school senate, pre-college program - geez! Again - I can see why you want to be where you are, doing what you're doing.
Just a thought, though - if you would want to come out here sometime in the summer just for a visit, I can try to come up with enough cash for a bus ticket or something. You could check out the desert and then be REALLY glad you live where you do! Just something to think about.
As far as your dad's list of diagnosis - I have to say I'm surprised. I don't remember him exhibiting *any* of the symptoms for all that stuff back when I knew him. Seriously, I keep wanting to say 'Who are you and what have you done with Dan?'. It just baffles me. But a lot of things baffle me, so I guess that just goes on the list...
And hearing that Hazen is upgrading doesn't surprise me somehow - it seems like every school I ever went to - college included - *waited* until after I was *gone* to upgrade their theatre facilities. Bastards.
Anyway, speaking of late - or early, depending on how you look at it...
Let me know if you think you might want to visit!