Piano Man

Oct. 30th, 2008 10:51 pm
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Courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] deathboy , my new favorite serio-comic / musical crush.

Plus, the Smithian hair 'n eyeliner combo is hawt.

First, a Poem.

And now, have some Polemics.

And finally, some Personal Space.

Brains - they are so strangely erotic.

It's official.

I'm in wuv.

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The Onion gives me guilty pleasure.

Second-Graders Wow Audience With School Production Of Equus

"The kids loved it," teacher and director Michael Komarek said. "Once they stopped screaming about horses getting their eyes gouged out and realized that it was just a launching point for more complex ideas about alienation from the modern world, they rolled up their sleeves and dug right in."

I have reminded you to fear for your children, haven't I?
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Dear God.

The Saga Hath Ended.

And damn -

I'm sorry to see it concluded.

For those of you not familiar with the phenomenon, I'll be the bad guy and spoil it for you:

John Dies At The End.


See, the fun part is finding out how...
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If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?

(Now post this in your LJ and find out what mine would be).

This better be good....
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Holy Jeebus Christamouse -

Citroen - Putting the Funk back in Auto Functionality:


Snarked with enthusiasm from [livejournal.com profile] kobold, today's winner of Best Thing I've Seen All Week On Teh Intarweb.

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Besides being frighteningly well-informed, [livejournal.com profile] pope_guilty (aka limekiller82) is also wicked funny. If I didn't loathe and despise AIM so much, I'd get it just so I could verbally cross swords with him.

I think it would be like playing Mad Libs with a chainsaw-wielding thesaurus.

limekiller82: *non-sequiter!*
ArtBrokenGuy: Bemused retort.
limekiller82: Escalating joke
ArtBrokenGuy: Self-referential comment.
limekiller82: bitingly sarcastic insult
ArtBrokenGuy: Death threat.
limekiller82: chest-pounding boast of invulnerability
ArtBrokenGuy: Withering proof of innate superiority.
limekiller82: Statement of supreme loathing
ArtBrokenGuy: Yo mama.

I can't help it.

I just love a man with a large - vocabulary.
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Blame [livejournal.com profile] hillbillie - I'm having a flashback moment to one of my most favoritest movies of allllll time - "The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T" - and Hans Conreid's song-and-dance number - which I hold personally responsible for my present-day attraction to fetish clothing.

No, seriously. It explains a lot.

Doe-Me-Doe Duds

Come on and dress me, dress me, dress me, in my finest array!
Cause just in case you haven't heard
Today is doe-me-doe day!

Dress me in my silver garters, dress me in my diamond studs
Cause I'm going doe-me-doe-ing in my doe-me-doe duds!
I want my undulating undies with the maribou frills!
I want my beautiful bolero with the porcupine quills!
I want my purple nylon girdle with the orange blossom buds
Cause I'm going doe-me-doe-ing in my doe-me-doe duds!

Come on and dress me! dress me! dress me!
In my peek-a-boo blouse
With the lovely inner lining made of Chesapeake mouse!
I want my polka-dotted dickie with the crinolin fringe
For I'm going doe-me-doe-ing on a doe-me-doe binge!

I want my lavender spats and in addition to them
I want my honey-colored gosset with the herring bone hem
I want my softest little jacket made of watermelon suede
And my long persimmon placket with the platinum braid
I want my leg of mutton sleeves and in addition to those
I want my cutie chamois booties with the leopard skin bows
I want my pink brocaded bodice with the floofy fuzzy ruffs
And my gorgeous bright blue bloomers
With the monkey feather cuffs
I want my organdy snood and in addition to that
I want my chiffon Mother Hubbard lined with Hudson Bay rat
Dress me up from top to bottom, dress me up from tip to toe
Dress me up in silk and spinach for today is doe-me-doe day!

So come and dress me in the blossoms of a million pink trees!
Come on and dress me up in liverwurst! and camembert cheese!
Come on and dress me up in pretzels, dress me up in bock beer suds! Cause I'm gooooo-ing
in my doe-me-doe duds!

See what I mean? Could anyone be expected to lead a normal life after that?
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Because what everyone needs is a "Re-Elect Bush" Screensaver on their computer, I submit for your approval a review of the program posted on CNet's Download.com. I swear to God. See for yourself.

"Flashy, but terrible performance"

When I downloaded this software I was kind of divided about whether or not I wanted to install it. As soon as I downloaded it, though, it installed itself even though I was leaning towards deleting it. As soon as it was installed, it started installing all these secondary programs it called "faith-based" and using up all my system resources. Soon after that it invaded another system on my network claiming it was looking for destructive programs (even though all my malware scanners on the other PC were coming up clean). After destroying all the basic operating files of the other PC it flashed a big message that said, " MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." I called tech support who claimed, "No, that wasn't our message, it must have been a different program." I uninstalled it from the other PC and the software claimed that it had withdrawn but it's still there and every day it uses up more and more hard drive space & resources and deletes more and more of my programs. Now it's telling me that there's malware all over my network even though it's clean and that the only way to get rid of it is to install it again for another four years! SOMEBODY HELP ME REMOVE THIS PROGRAM!

Somebody kiss this guy for me.


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